First day here on earth

Posted: March 4, 2011 in Adventures
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So, my last epic adventure told the story of my banishment from the pancake home world back to the moon, the home of the yetis. I think I shall skip forward a few years to the first day I arrived on earth for the next chapter of my adventures, as the yeti home world is a scary and mind blowing place for human minds to venture. Perhaps one day, once your minds have been opened enough, I can tell you the tales of the mighty shismac or the gorthac tournaments, but not yet.

I’m not sure of the day, I had been locked in my cell for what seemed like weeks, but could have been more. I had no light or food to distinguish day from day, when my guards came all 25 of them shackling me and driving me to the rocket that would carry me to this world of yours.

The trip was uneventful, I sat still in chains strapped to the floor, pondering what this new world would be like and if I could finally either gain acceptance and have a peaceful life, or if I would once more be forced in to some “unpleantness”. But then the ship crashed into a large hill somewhere in the Siberian Tundra, breaking apart, sending me flying across the snow. My chains had broken in the fall along with my left arm, the bone protruding from just above my elbow. I have learnt that apparently this is a gruesome injury here on earth, although it is common in the Grand Gorthac Tournaments and was barely noticable.

I stumbled out and broke off a tree branch with my good arm and used it and my chains to make a splint. I walked about ten minutes before stumbling across a polar bear. The large creature was disturbed and confused by me, but it’s fright made it attack. I punched it in the torso and then round-house kicked it in the face sending it flying across the clearing into a tree where it split in two and fell defeated, dead. I cooked and ate it, the meat tasting delicious. 

As I thought it nowhere near as good as the pancake people, suddenly a wolf pack found me and tried to steal my kill for themselves. Poor creatures, I almost felt sorry for them as I ground them into the snow, leaving nothing but a red stain. This world puzzled me at first, I had been here only half an hour and yet had fought off two attacks. Already one from a group of eight and so considered it quite a hostile world, but the weakness of my foes confused me. Surely in a world this vicious, there would be stronger fighters.

I set off east again and wandered on until I came to a small village. The people there instantly recognised me as something not human but were too scared to attack. I stole a snow ski and went east to find a place to call my own.

On the way I encounted many a beast and many a fine fellow. It took a full year before I finally settled in my Australian home where I stay now. But those are other stories for another day.


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