Posted: March 18, 2011 in Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Detroit is debating putting up a statue of robocop, yes read that again if you have to and no I’m not making this up see( ) ok so not so much a debate as a few crazies saying DO IT! but it did make me think of robocop which I can’t say is that big an achievement I do own a copy of all three movies and the four tele-movies, and yet 7 movies is not enough to quench my thirst for more robocop in fact no amount of movies, no matter how blood thirsty and full of one liners and darkly comedic ads would, not even a statue or theme park dedicated to him (although that would be cool so if someone could get that started it would be much appreciated) no the only thing that will quench my Robocop musings is a real life robocop. and here’s whyit’s a good idea.

1: Crime doesn’t sleep, crime happens anywhere and anytime no matter how good or how big your police force is you can’t be everywhere at once…. unless you have an army of undead cyborgs like robocop who don’t need sleep who can patrol 24/7 an army of cops who while patrolling are bullet proof stab proof and battering ram resistant.

2: Money, sure each robocop will cost an arm and a leg but once it’s up and running all it needs is maintenance, no pay, no food, no house, no loved ones to cry or sue the force when it gets killed and no human error, all you need is detectives, paper pushers and maintenance men the rest of the force is unpaid cyborgs each able to do at least 3 times the work of any single officer each day and will take no sick leave or vacation time it’s a huge long-term financial gain.

3: Connection, each Robocop has a video feed fed straight to a hard drive every thing de sees and does is recorded no long court cases of police brutality no witnesses going missing or my word V’s his it’s all on tape every action every word and every bullet, not only that but all outstanding warrants all license plates that need tracking down or missing persons they can know them all instantly no human could remember it all Robocop can!

4: Coolness, quite simply robocop is the coolest cop around and always will be nothing is scarier that a robot saying “your move creep” while pointing a canon at your chest oh wait yes there is the same robot saying “dead or alive your coming with me” while still pointing a Gun at you  more suited to an anti-aircraft battery than a police mans hand.

5: Saftey, yes putting safty after saying giant gun is a starange combo but sick with me, robocops prime directives are 1: uphold the law, 2:protect the inocent 3: serve the public trust. what more could you want to keep you safe than a  cyborg cops carring giant guns and run by thoose three laws?

so you have a cheaper, faster, stronger, better, cooler cop that works 24 hours a day every day, every day of the year and has instant knowledge of all crimes committed in the database and instant facial recognition of all suspects and missing persons, “I’d buy that for a dollar” and so should the police forces of the world.

“Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere, there is a crime happening.”


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