Archive for April, 2011

So for those that don’t know yetis are far superior athletically to mere humans so much so that your sports are well…… to be honest they bore me to tears and so i tried to bring the sports of the yeti to earth. i forgot you people have rules against animal cruelty and so had to make them into flash games instead, which since you people spend more time in front of computers than out playing sports worked out quite well.

So check out the games at one of the links below or just google them

But I thought I should give you some background to these great sports and why they should become earths favorite pastime.

First of all only penguins and flamingos are ever hurt and they are the worst of all animals i mean what kind of bird doesn’t fly? a useless mutant bird that’s the only kind!  it’s a disgrace! and as such they deserve all the mistreatment we can possibly dish out to them. but not being a sadistic yeti only when it brings us joy hence penguin hit where the aim is to decapitate and send the penguins head the furthest possible distance.

A great family game for all.

Likewise the flamingo is a bird with two perfect legs that chooses to mock the crippled by walking around on one leg standing there taunting all those with only one leg and like all that get amusement from the misfortune of others that are not themselves the strongest they must be punished. being used as golf clubs is quite simply a lite punishment for the cruel mocking they inflict on real cripples.

So having easily convinced you of the quite ethical torture of these evil, evil birds (you know i have) it is my most joyous pleasure to ask you to sign up for the inaugural penguin bash, now before you complain I realise it is wrong of me to assume anyone will hit the head off of a penguin.

People are far to weak for that, that is why the heads will be cut off and meanly placed on the penguin bodies T-ball style.

So i ask for your arms and eyes to play and watch and make this truly the worlds greatest game and spectacle I have already been informed of great television coverage when we do go ahead so please sign up by posting a comment and be catapulted to world-wide fame in this greatest of sports.


movies suck and are a huge waste of time/money! you may think this is a horribly hypocritical option from someone who watches and loves movies like evil dead and robocop precisely because they do suck but hear me out.

so a movie is between an hour and four hours long depending on how pretentious the director and how laid back the publishing company is but the absolute best movies can only be watched what 10 times a year before you start to hate them most only once or twice a year. compare this to a good book if you only got 4 hours reading though a book you would be disgusted or a very impressive reader in fact a good book will entertain you for a few hours a day for a week or month at a time easily giving you that 40 hours enjoyment in the first read though. or take a video game if you get less than 100 hours enjoyment out of a video game you would complain and yet will pay a quarter of the price for a 50 of the enjoyment quite happily with a movie. but most importantly an album, how many hours enjoyment do you get from a good album if your anything like me it will sit in your cd player for a week or two on constant reply before settling into a normal rotation so again many more hours enjoyment over the life of the album.

so why do movies get treated with such respect why are they the pinicle of modern culture why is the new transformers movies more important than the new gorge.r.r. martian book?

Because your all stupid and lazy! 

yes movies are popular simply because we are lazy why else would a movie replace a book or a video game or an album as the best biggest and most funded form of entertainment in the world.

don’t get me wrong I’m not say there should be no movies and that they shouldnt be made. what I’m saying is for the price of avatar there could have been a new album deal for a band that may well be the next iron maiden a production company for the guy to make the next portal or Mario style franchise and funding for 200 writers to write plays and books and many more hours of enjoyment than avatar ever gave us. budgets like that are ridiculous and only the movie industry gets away with them. Because your lazy and would rather sit and stare than read or interact you stupid stupid people.

now shut up and bring me saw 8, 9 and 10 already!