Money Money Money

Posted: April 15, 2011 in Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

-i’m tierd of wasting time on get rich quick schemes, but i know i’m going to get rich with this scheme, and quick! -homer simpson

so tierd of wasting your time on phoney get rich quick schemes, worring about your finaces and the loan sharks that are about to cut off your thumbs, well fret no more! the yeti geologist is here to help with a scheme that make you rich! and quick!

So as we all now know money is the only path to true happieness (dont argue it’s true you know it!) so how do you get rich follow these easy 12 steps.

step 1. Steal– from your friends relatives or the local service station i dont care where but steal 10 grand as start up capital.

step 2. Beg– as well as stealing beg local charitys and groups or even just people you know to get a ute. (pick up for thoose a bit slow)

step 3. Borrow– get a loan for another ten grand from a local bank and set up a saftey deposit box.

step 4. Set up– so you now have 20 grand and a ute this is a good start but you will need 12 sharp lead pencils a basketball 2 ping pong balls a note book a banarama mix tape a life size david hasslehoff cut out a three piece suit and a straight razor. get these things.

step 5. Scout– ok so you now have all the equipment your going to need now scout out the local bank you got a loan and saftey deposit box in using the first of the sharp pencils take note of the cameras and there posiyion as well as the doors and how strudy they look.

step 6. Ram- with your new found knowledge put the hasslehoff in the passenger seat the banarama tape in the tape player and ram through the frount of the bank in your ute.

step 7. Hiest–  take the two ping pong balls and stab a sharp lead pencil into each of them leave them on the drivers seat, take another pencil and pick the lock to the safe

step 8. Arrest- once the lock picking fails fill your pockets from the till and pick up the basket ball and throw it at the first police man through the hole in the wall.

step 9.  Trial– wear your three peice suit to your trial and shave before hand with the straight razor.

step 10. Jail- use the remaining pencils as shanks to keep you safe in prison.

step 11. Wait– so you have 5 to 15 years of waiting depending on your legal system draw in the note pad to pass time.

step 12. Win– buy a lotto ticket the day you get out and winn 37 millon in the lotto

so there it is the fool proof plan to getting rich and being happy, follow it and i garentee that you will be rich happy or at least unable to complain and thanks to all the ram raids my investment in sercurity stocks will go through the roof and i will be rich and happy even if your not.

so have fun and i hope i’m able to help, or should that be glad i’m able to exploit you.

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Comments
  1. codebeard says:

    Or, 12. Use a pencil to write a book about your magnificent heist, and when you get out of jail, sell it to publishers and promote it to tabloids and other bastions of quality journalism like Today Tonight. You’ll be sure to make at least 30 grand; certainly clear a profit on your initial investment. You may want to study better writing skills than the yeti geologist first though, or you will need to pay someone else to write the book for you.

    Like

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