Conspiracy theroy 6: Helicopters and Toast

Posted: July 8, 2011 in Conspiracy theory's
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

so you may by now think of lost the plot that I’ve been bundled over the edge of sanity and am left wallowing in my own soup of crazy paranoid delusions about the rangas and the mole men or lizard people from beyond the stars, first of all…

SHUT UP! YOU HAVENT SEEN WHAT I HAVE YOU HAVENT BEEN INSIDE IT MAN YOU WEREN’T THERE YOU CANT SAY IT DIDNT HAPPEN YOU TOOL OF GOVERNMENT OPPRESSION GO EAT SOME MORE PROPAGANDA LIES AND BLEAT ABOUT FREEDOM YOU SHEEP!

but with that now off my chest I bring you a conspiracy everyone can agree on secret government helicopters that stop your toast from cooking while camping. now as everybody knows the two worst things about camping are the uncooked then burnt toast and the interruption of the peace by helicopters, these two seemingly unconnected facts are actually part of a far broader plot that I will try to explain in little bite sized chunks that wont blow your mind holes wide open all at once.

ok so first of all the helicopters are there, but why? pilot training? carrying passengers? attacking terrorist leaders? fishing? you poor naive fools all of those are covers for the real reason helicopters are used, noise generation! you see the government is actively testing many kinds of weapon and mind control devices at any given moment that make a lot of noise but that with carefully planed flight paths the noise can be neutralised and covered up by the drone of the helicopter, now these helicopters cover up the noise for a vast array of government sponsored monstrosities and are therefore dubbed monstrosicopters by those in the know. (Wink to john)   but what does this have to do with toast? i hear you ask. well the uncooking toast is an unforseen side-effect of their bread based aolien gun (I would explain but I’m sure you already know) but the unknown side effect of toast not toasting has since been found to be a useful tool in their agitate the masses with mindless annoyance plan, the aim of which is to make people hate their holidays so they go back to work and take less time off feel more exhausted pay more tax and pay less attention to everything else that is happening, it is almost as successful as operation giant queue to see a doctor, and strategies long wait at the motor rego, but aimed at holidays and not sick days or RDO’s, so there you have it the secret to the mostrosicopter conspiracy i think you can all agree that this one is undoubtably true so untill next time keep watching the sky’s and your toast.

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