Archive for August, 2011

Both great conquerors  both weird looking  but who is the greatest singer, as they battle sing star style!!!


Alexander the great

born 21 July 356 BC Alexander III of Macedon

creator of one of the largest empires in ancient history, stretching from the Ionian Sea to the Himalayas. He was undefeated in battle and is considered one of the most successful commanders of all time and tutored by Aristotle himself, but died at just 32 of unknown causes, buried in two gold coffins that were later stolen and melted down for use as coinage by later kings.






born 15 August, Napoleon Bonaparte 1769 died  5 May 1821

was a French military and political leader during the latter stages of the French Revolution.

has a series of wars named after him that brought all of europe to fight untill losing after attacking russia and being forced to retreat, he then lived in exile before dying possibly of arsenic poisoning.








now just a single song would not be a fair fight so I give them 5 to test the complete facet of their vocal range

first “paradise city” by Guns and Roses

one to test the upper reaches of their vocal range the guns and roses classic a test of their grove and ability to work a crowd.

won by Napoleon the little man is nothing if not charismatic

second “heaven and hell” by Black Sabbath

lets see how they go on one of the greatest songs ever, Ronine Dio has a strength and a range unmatchable

this one goes to Alexander bit more power in his voice to bring it home

Third “dead silence” by Obituary

the masters on raw bloody death metal their sound has been described as an attack by a 7ft 300lb man with a pituitary gland disorder wielding a sledgehammer

goes to the greek man once more can’t imagine a 4ft french man pulling it off

fourth “madam butterfly” by who cares

um Napoleon why not

and lastly “wind beneath my wings” by Barbra Streisand

and the tie breaker Barbra Streisand’s ballad of corn and the victory goes to

Napoleon! the little general takes the victory by a hair or a funny hat


so having just watched sharktopus the movie where a half shark half octopus hybrid created by the navy goes nuts and starts eating people and that by watching your iq actually drops 20 pts, quite seriously i love my bad movies this was a stretch even for me. i swear they got one actor and then just the directors mates and a handy cam and spent the whole $2000 budget on bad CG and an awesome cover

looks promising

i get to thinking what other awesome animal splicing would make a greater (slightly less awful) movie

number 1 Scorposnake, half snake half scorpion genetic experiment

the Scorposnake would be a genetic experiment to find a cure for some kind of horrible cancer the combined venom being used to create gene therapies or something but while being transported the truck crashes near a remote Australian town, the inhabitants and then left to fight off the deadly scorpsnake swarm.

number 2 spiraptor, a half spider half raptor military hybrid

the spiraptoer is the ultimate killing machine a raptor with eight legs that can climb walls and is enhanced with military hardware making it stronger and more resilient, but a freak storm hits the island it is held on damaging it’s control collar and freeing it from human control while it stalks and kills the military personnel of the carribian island and the civilians at the islands surf contest.

number 3 goriaphant, half gorilla half elephant  abomination

a doctor moriartu style mad doctor/ zoo keeper who splices a gorilla and an elephant that, driven mad by its own inexcusable existence it then trashes the entire local county(england)

number 4 ratakete, half rat half parotkete mutant

after a kid gets hold of his terrorist dads nuclear stock pile and feeds it to his pet parrot which then attacks and eats a rat mutating in to the ratakete more of a gremlins style kids monster movie, set in new york

number 5 baolf, half bat half wolf twilight taken to its logical conclusion

a flying wolf creature set in a mythical time and place not long after twilight when they finally have a kid and it’s a horrible mutant that destroys them all and the surrounding towns finally bringing the terrible saga to a worthy end

so there you have it five blockbuster movies any studios are welcome to buy the ideas for 5 mill a pop