Posted: August 27, 2011 in Thoughts
Tags: , , , , , , ,

so having just watched sharktopus the movie where a half shark half octopus hybrid created by the navy goes nuts and starts eating people and that by watching your iq actually drops 20 pts, quite seriously i love my bad movies this was a stretch even for me. i swear they got one actor and then just the directors mates and a handy cam and spent the whole $2000 budget on bad CG and an awesome cover

looks promising

i get to thinking what other awesome animal splicing would make a greater (slightly less awful) movie

number 1 Scorposnake, half snake half scorpion genetic experiment

the Scorposnake would be a genetic experiment to find a cure for some kind of horrible cancer the combined venom being used to create gene therapies or something but while being transported the truck crashes near a remote Australian town, the inhabitants and then left to fight off the deadly scorpsnake swarm.

number 2 spiraptor, a half spider half raptor military hybrid

the spiraptoer is the ultimate killing machine a raptor with eight legs that can climb walls and is enhanced with military hardware making it stronger and more resilient, but a freak storm hits the island it is held on damaging it’s control collar and freeing it from human control while it stalks and kills the military personnel of the carribian island and the civilians at the islands surf contest.

number 3 goriaphant, half gorilla half elephant  abomination

a doctor moriartu style mad doctor/ zoo keeper who splices a gorilla and an elephant that, driven mad by its own inexcusable existence it then trashes the entire local county(england)

number 4 ratakete, half rat half parotkete mutant

after a kid gets hold of his terrorist dads nuclear stock pile and feeds it to his pet parrot which then attacks and eats a rat mutating in to the ratakete more of a gremlins style kids monster movie, set in new york

number 5 baolf, half bat half wolf twilight taken to its logical conclusion

a flying wolf creature set in a mythical time and place not long after twilight when they finally have a kid and it’s a horrible mutant that destroys them all and the surrounding towns finally bringing the terrible saga to a worthy end

so there you have it five blockbuster movies any studios are welcome to buy the ideas for 5 mill a pop

  1. That movie can’t really exist – can it?


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