Disney pt3

Posted: November 8, 2012 in Disney
Tags: , , , , ,

Ok lets start this again, its time to make fun of an oldie and a newy first snow-white then wall:e but first this

http://www.cracked.com/video_18445_how-classic-disney-movies-made-entire-generation-suck.html

ok so snow-white the movie, tells us what.

hmm well lets see first off it tells us

If you have problems run away,

the evil queen is so crazy about being the most beautiful she pays a huntsman to go kill her step daughter. so what does she do she runs away and lives in the forest with 7 strange men she’s never meet before. safe choice.

If you don’t like your job don’t quit just lie about it,

the huntsman upon finding snow-white goes “nah I don’t want to kill you your pretty” so instead cuts out a pigs heart and offers it to the queen, this is just stupid she has a magic mirror that can tell her if snow-white is dead or not.

Always accept food from strangers,

despite being on the run hiding to save her life, snow-white still happily accepts an apple from a strange old lady that just happens to find the hidden hut in the woods she finds. how stupid can you be? why would she be there? why would you not hide better? just stupid.

And Finally

If you kiss a unconcious drugged chick it will all end well and you’ll live happily ever after.

really? and this isn’t the only time Disney use this sleeping beauty is just as bad, “true loves” kiss come from a stranger that kisses her while she sleeps because he hears she’s really beautiful. and yet this is a good thing  not a creepy stalker thing apparently.

and now

Wall.e the most stupid stupid stupid thing since my idea to combine 12 gas canisters with fireworks.

Now watched this last night as part of my quest to watch the IMDb top 250 movies otherwise i wouldn’t have watched it so i realize unlike the others this was never aimed at me I’m to old to watch it and too young (probably not hmm lets say too smart) to be forced to by my kids. but still..

even with a cracked after hours masterpiece about how all Disney Pixar is just robots talking over the world before returning to be enslaved by robots in the back of my mind while watching this i still finished it feeling betrayed.

now ignoring the racism (not a single black person in the future) the question of how they survived when two of the characters react as if touching hands was the greatest experience of their short lives. quite simply where have the babies come from for the last 700 years ok so it was a slow drop to being sacks of human waste but not that slow the last half a dozen captains looked they never once exited those stupid chairs. and on that note bed sores,you’re telling me living in a single chair eating sleeping presumably bathing and going to the bathroom all in thoose chairs wont give you bed sores!

 

and what the hell was wall.e even doing building skyscrapers out of poor compacted trash. how does that help clean up earth. just so many stupid things all happening at once to drive me insane and leaving probably the first of the IMDB movies that I cant explain why it’s there others are boring or slow or poorly made but I get why they are popular or important but wall.e is just a stain on Pixar good name.

 

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Comments
  1. codebeard says:

    I agree with you about Snow White. What a dumb movie.

    As for WALL-E, I can believe it belongs in the 250.

    You have forced me to defend it with more vigour than a kids movie merits, but oh well. In no particular order:

    What’s more racist? Not putting any black people in a movie, or failing to notice the ones that are actually there? http://www.realclearscience.com/blog/WALL-E-humans_320.jpg

    You managed to miss the whole point of their “survival”. The movie shows that their “survival” is no kind of life at all — their mass buy in to consumerism has left them disconnected from life. Of course they don’t know the joy of touch or anything like that. That’s the point and the overarching crisis of the movie (NOT environmental crap).

    Their lifespans are long due to (I presume) the tightly regulated medical environment on the ship and the advanced technology; there are only a few captains in those 700 years so each one is serving over a hundred years, which means it’s not out of the question for them to be living 200 years or something (including childhood and retirement). You can’t just let people pop a baby every 9 months in that kind of environment — life support has a hard limit. I’m thinking that reproduction was carefully managed by the robots without a whole lot of agency on the part of the humans. I can believe that bed sores would be rare due to the very decreased gravity and lack of bone development / ossification, with any sores that do occur being quickly resolved by automated medical robots.

    WALL-E didn’t build the “skyscrapers” to clean the Earth. You have missed some important things here. He (and I use a gendered pronoun deliberately) was a robot that had developed emotions and a profound sense of loss regarding humanity’s absence. He obsessively collected things that reminded him of a former time; of better days. His constructions were not an effort to restore the environment, but an effort to build a simulacrum of humanity’s presence.

    There’s a lot more to the movie than just cute anthropomorphic robots. Moving well beyond the superficial environmental message, the movie is a critique of the human condition. Humans believe they are free, but are in fact unable to see past their individual motives and selfish consumerism, having lost sight of the capacity and glory for which they were created. Enslaved in this way, they have ended up so far from their intended created state that they destroyed their own ability to return through any decision of their own. But, by some grace, a branch is found, a symbol of life, which heralds the receding of the life-destroying floodwaters humanity had brought upon itself.

    Like

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